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Saturday, January 3, 2009

Restitution - A New Year's Resolution

My 30th birthday is coming up this year, it is something that I am dreading more than anything up to this point in my life. I know it is really not a big deal, however, I am not at ease about it at all. I have many friends and loved ones whom I have teased relentlessly when they turned 30, 40, 50, I know I have it coming!

That is all fine and dandy except for the fact that I really want this year to matter. I want every year from here on out to matter. So each year from here on, I want to take a biblical principle and try to apply it to my life. This year is going to be restitution. There are so many people that I have hurt up to this point in my life whether it be on purpose or by accident. I want to make sure they all know that I am truly sorry and I want to ask them to forgive me. I want to change for the better in every aspect of my life so this is a beginning. With that said...

I just had a very interesting thing happen this afternoon...

I was putting all of my Christmas decorations away which includes packing up my beautiful houses that sit beneath my tree. MY mother bought my sister and I each 2 houses every year from 1997-2000. This meant that we each had 8 houses total. While packing the houses I was looking at the years that were written on the bottom of each box. We had our first initial and the year written on each of them so we would know whose was whose. Then the strangest memory entered my mind. I vaguely remembered switching houses one year because I liked my sister's better than mine (quite the usual in our household). It all went south from there...

As I was remembering this awful deed, it all came flooding back like a bad nightmare. I didn't just switch houses, I actually rewrote the initials on the boxes so no one would know. It was so obvious how I did it, but somehow I got away with it.

So there I am sitting on my living room floor rifling through boxes to find the house that was not mine. (still hoping all the while that I am remembering wrong)There it was in black and blue ink! I really did this! So I then started to feel awful. I could easily get away with letting things go (this was 12 years ago, who cares now?). I decided to do the right thing and call my sister and fess up to everything.

I explained to her what I had done (as a jealous teenager) and told her to look at her boxes. There were 4 boxes 2 with "A 97" and 2 with "M 97" written on them. I changed the one "A 97" to say "MELISS A 97" and the other to say "A M Y 97". I realize now how wrong this was and I do feel awful. I am just grateful that my sister is used to my shortcomings and forgave me.

After she forgave me she said, "Now put that on your blog!". So, Amy, here it is. I am truly sorry for all of the awful things I have ruined for you over the years. This includes, but is not limited to:

Eating your Chinese food and telling you I threw it away because it had maggots in it, switching Christmas houses, telling you what gifts you were getting for Christmas (and birthdays), taking your clothes (I might still have some), and of course for always tagging along with you when I wasn't wanted.

I love you and am glad you are still willing to call me your sister. I hope you have noticed that I have made many changes to my character since those days. As I grow as a Christian, I am sure there will be many more things that I realize I have done to you and I will yet again come begging for forgiveness.


myblessedhome said...

I love your humble spirit. You write with honesty and transparency that is refreshing. I think that your resolution is a good one. I sometimes think back to people that I have hurt, but have no way to contact now. I wish they could know that I'm sorry, and that I'm not who I once was.

Apologizing and making amends is a good thing, but please don't hold onto guilt. Your sins were washed away on the cross with Jesus. I know that you know this - but sometimes we need to hear it again.

Mama K. said...

Thank you as always for your wonderful advice! You are so right about the guilt. I have been forgiven once and for all and it is a great reminder and such a relief too!